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Halloween is becoming more and more popular each year with nearly ever organisation wanting to take part, whether it is the local optician dressing their window or restaurants offering spicy pumpkin soup on the menu. However, it is not always a ‘trick or treat’ fun night for everyone. For those who have a serious phobia of spiders, real or plastic (they can seem life like enough) they have to endure this anxiety every year. So what is a phobia? It is an irrational fear triggered when faced with the feared object and as a result the person may sweat, shake, experience dizziness or palpitations as a physical response. Or they may try to avoid the trigger all together which can sometimes be difficult to do. I walked into my local charity shop and there was a plastic spider on the counter as part of their Halloween display. So not as easy as it may seem, and every time the trigger is avoided it actually reinforces the phobia. Why can’t phobias be rationalised by use of simple

FEAR =  False… Expectation… Appearing… Real Years ago I was introduced to a wonderful man by a friend of mine. However then I did not know this. I had heard that he liked a drink and this worried me. My Father would be depressed and he liked a drink and when he did, he became an angry man and not nice to be around. My worry that this man might be like that caused me to be wary. Alarm bells rang in my head. What if when he drank he would become just like my father? So I walked away, my fears had got in the way. Why did I not give this man a chance?   Why did I not let myself have the opportunity to get to know him or explore the possibility of a relationship with him? The answer was FEAR. Was I afraid of getting hurt or even being truly happy because that is scary too! So what did I do? I let him go. The biggest regret of my life. I had deprived myself of that opportunity all because of FEAR. It took me nearly 15 years to realise this. He moved on with his life, went abroad,

As a qualified counsellor quite often I am asked to explain what is counselling? usually when seeing a client for the first time. Some people think that counselling is just talking about what is going on in your life or having someone there to listen to you, and in some ways that is what it is. However, it is more than this. Talking about our thoughts and feelings is a way to see things more clearly as sometimes we are part of the problem because we are so often involved in the situation. We are too involved or we have got into a pattern of thinking a particular way or acting in a certain manner.  Talking things through with another person, such as a counsellor can help you to see things more clearly such as from a different perspective, rather like an outsider looking in on the situation. Counselling can also help you to find coping mechanisms or strategies to deal with the situation. For example, if you change how you think or feel then this means that the other per

Hypnotherapy is a safe and reliable method of treatment for a great many problems, including those of an emotional and personal nature. It is non-addictive, and uses no drugs, has no harmful side effects, and is suitable for just about everyone. It is a natural method of helping people to use their inner resources to improve their physical, emotional and mental well-being.  It can help with anxiety, stress, phobias, panic attacks, exam nerves, sleep problems, weight reduction and much more. You may have tried other therapies and treatments in the past to resolve a problem. Hypnotherapy may be a very different approach to those you are used to. It is an active process, not just something that is 'done to you'. You are involved. You have control. You are ultimately part of the solution. The experience of hypnotherapy can best be described as a pleasant state of relaxation. You have probably experienced a hypnotic trance without even realising it. When you are lying in

If you don’t love (like) yourself how can somebody else like or even love you? Maybe you struggle with low self-esteem or lack confidence, or not feel attractive or have had bad experiences dating as your reasons or excuses for remaining single. Or having had a bad relationship or marriage or difficult divorce or been cheated upon. Your radar needs to be clear if you are to attract what you want. What we think is what we become, so connect to your deep desire and not your fear. It is about learning to like yourself and appreciate yourself and become your own best friend and not about blaming or complaining. You aren’t going to meet someone if you stay in every weekend, so find places to go or try different things to do. Do some small thing every day to move you towards your goal of meeting somone. If on-line dating, take time to write your own profile and certainly not get someone else to do that for you. Be clear about what it is you are looking for. Be honest in your pro