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Grief - At Christmas Time

Coping with bereavement at any time of year is not easy and for some especially so at Christmas. The first Christmas without one's partner or family member can be the most difficult. Sometimes it's the traditions that are done or the empty place at the dinner table on Christmas Day that are the reminders. Then there are New Year celebrations and not being able to see the New Year in with that person who is no longer here. 

It isn’t only the death of someone, but the break-up of a relationship can also be regarded as a loss. The loss of a future together that may have been planned or not having any form of support and feeling alone. Or having to rebuild and start a new life.

Sometimes people try to keep things as they always were by keeping the same traditions, almost acting as if nothing has changed, but it has. This could be a form of denial, if I carry on as normal everything will be alright. Maybe this is done to hide the painful emotions but it isn’t always helpful.

Often with grief people don’t’ want to feel the pain, it is almost as if they would like to be anaesthetised so as to not feel the hurt. Or they want someone to take it away such as a helping professional like a counsellor. But we have to feel the hurt and the pain in order to grieve fully and start to heal emotionally and come to terms with our loss.

So how can we cope? Having someone to talk to about one’s feelings can help and also doing things differently than in previous years. Or inviting someone around for a few hours during the festive season so that you are not all alone and have to concentrate on your guest, rather than dwell on your own thoughts and feelings. Or it may be that you forget all about Christmas this year, put it on hold knowing that next year you will be hopefully coping better and have found coping strategies that work for you.

Margaret Cook  M.Ed  Dip Hypn  MBACP
http://www.allin-the-mind.com

About the author: Margaret is a Reiki practitioner, counsellor and hypnotherapist and has been in private practice for 22 years

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