FEAR = False… Expectation… Appearing… Real

Years ago I was introduced to a wonderful man by a friend of mine. However then I did not know this. I had heard that he liked a drink and this worried me. My Father would be depressed and he liked a drink and when he did, he became an angry man and not nice to be around. My worry that this man might be like that caused me to be wary. Alarm bells rang in my head. What if when he drank he would become just like my father? So I walked away, my fears had got in the way.

Why did I not give this man a chance?

Why did I not let myself have the opportunity to get to know him or explore the possibility of a relationship with him? The answer was FEAR.

Was I afraid of getting hurt or even being truly happy because that is scary too! So what did I do? I let him go. The biggest regret of my life. I had deprived myself of that opportunity all because of FEAR.

It took me nearly 15 years to realise this. He moved on with his life, went abroad, met someone else and got married and had a family. I found out from people that he worked with what a lovely man he is. Glowing reports of what he was like to work with were there to read on his Linked In profile and I walked away from him. I meanwhile remained single and pursued my career.

This is not a lament, but a note to heed and not to let FEAR get in the way and stop you from giving something a chance. If it doesn’t work out, then you walk away and learn what you can from that experience, but don’t let FEAR jeopardise that opportunity to give something a go. And no the man in question didn’t have a drink problem, he drank no more than anyone else would socially. My FEAR had exaggerated things.

Margaret Cook
M.Ed Dip Hypn MBACP
www.allin-the-mind.com

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