All in the Mind - A Space for Conscious Thought

Coping with bereavement at any time of year is not easy and for some especially so at Christmas. The first Christmas without one's partner or family member can be the most difficult. Sometimes it's the traditions that are done or the empty place at the dinner table on Christmas Day that are the reminders. Then there are New Year celebrations and not being able to see the New Year in with that person who is no longer here.  It isn’t only the death of someone, but the break-up of a relationship can also be regarded as a loss. The loss of a future together that may have been planned or not having any form of support and feeling alone. Or having to rebuild and start a new life. Sometimes people try to keep things as they always were by keeping the same traditions, almost acting as if nothing has changed, but it has. This could be a form of denial, if I carry on as normal everything will be alright. Maybe this is done to hide the painful emotions but it isn’t always helpful....

FEAR = False… Expectation… Appearing… Real. It’s incredible how something that exists only in the mind can shape the course of an entire life. Fear can whisper, distort, exaggerate, and convince us that danger is everywhere, even when the truth is far gentler. Years ago, a friend introduced me to a wonderful man. I didn’t know he was wonderful at the time. What I had heard was that he liked a drink, and that was enough to send my whole system into alarm. My Father drank and when he did, he became angry, unpredictable, and difficult to be around. As a child, that kind of atmosphere leaves an imprint - a deep one. So when I heard this man enjoyed a drink, my mind didn’t see him . It saw my Father. It saw the past. It saw danger. My fear stepped in and took over. I walked away before I even gave him a chance. Before I allowed myself to get to know him. Before I explored what could have been a beautiful connection. Why? Because fear told me a story and I believed it. Was I afraid of getti...