Coping with bereavement at any time of year is
not easy and for some especially so at Christmas. The first Christmas without
one's partner or family member can be the most difficult. Sometimes it's the
traditions that are done or the empty place at the dinner table on Christmas
Day that are the reminders. Then there are New Year celebrations and not being
able to see the New Year in with that person who is no longer here.
It isn’t only the death of someone, but the break-up
of a relationship can also be regarded as a loss. The loss of a future together
that may have been planned or not having any form of support and feeling alone.
Or having to rebuild and start a new life.
Often with grief people don’t’ want to feel the
pain, it is almost as if they would like to be anaesthetised so as to not feel
the hurt. Or they want someone to take it away such as a helping professional
like a counsellor. But we have to feel the hurt and the pain in order to grieve
fully and start to heal emotionally and come to terms with our loss.
So how can we cope? Having someone to talk to about
one’s feelings can help and also doing things differently than in previous
years. Or inviting someone around for a few hours during the festive season so
that you are not all alone and have to concentrate on your guest, rather than
dwell on your own thoughts and feelings. Or it may be that you forget all about
Christmas this year, put it on hold knowing that next year you will be hopefully
coping better and have found coping strategies that work for you.
Margaret Cook M.Ed Dip Hypn MBACP
http://www.allin-the-mind.com
About the author: Margaret is a Reiki practitioner, counsellor and hypnotherapist and has been in private practice for 22 years
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